It's all about me!!!

I Corinthians 13:1-13: Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become [as] sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have [the gift of] prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed [the poor], and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether [there be] prophecies, they shall fail; whether [there be] tongues, they shall cease; whether [there be] knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these [is] charity.

If you ever look up the definition of the word selfishness you will find that Webster defined it as, concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. He also defined being self-centered as, concerned solely with one's own desires, needs, or interests.

Now let’s be completely honest, we have all at one time or another been selfish or self-centered, and in some cases, although there are very few, people have a right to be a little selfish. There are times in life when all the attention should be focused on you, whether it be your birthday, your graduation, or your wedding, etc. These are moments in your life that you should be able to shine above all else and stand out without anyone else trying to take your spotlight. But as we all know, there are those who, whether they do it consciously or not, will always find away to make everything about them.

It is these people who in all reality care about nothing but themselves, even though on the outside they try to act like they spend their entire life doing nothing but caring for others. It is as though they think that five minutes or maybe even a couple of weeks or months, if they can make it that long, of normal activity on their part should be able to undo years of their narcissistic lifestyle.

I have just about reached my limit with all the people who want to act like they care for you and love you so much, but when it’s time for the words to take for and action to be taken, everything all of a sudden changes. In biblical times they did not use words like self-centered, self-absorbed, instead those who acted that way were called hypocrites. Webster’s definition of a hypocrite, 1:a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion 2:a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

All my life I have seen these people who will talk the talk and walk the walk when they’re around certain people, or when they think it may get back to a certain person, but as soon as they are no longer around that certain crowd they are a completely different person. This is anything by true Christianity. To be a Christian is to be Christ-like, and while that is what we like to think we are portraying, we fall so short! Even in our daily prayers, have you ever counted how many times you say the word “I” or “me”? God help me to...so that I may...give me the...and I will...etc. While we may be praying for God to bless us and help us, we need to learn to drop the singularities as we pray and begin praying as a body, God help us today....so that we may...etc. The more “I’s” and “me’s” we drop the more God and see that it’s not all about us, but about his church body as a whole. And maybe then we will be able to lose some of the selfish, self-centeredness, that seems to consume our families, our friendships, our churches, and our world!!!

Where is the “Charity” or for better use the “Love”? If you truly love as Christ has commanded, then you should have no room in your heart or your life for selfishness, or self-centeredness. John 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. God has commanded us to love one another multiple times throughout the bible, but it seems as though that is one of those commandments that we just want to sort of overlook, or we try to justify our way out of it. Well I don’t love her because she...or I can’t love him because he...or even worse, we say that we love them with our mouths, but our actions and deeds say a completely different thing. I often think that people forget that in order for people to actually believe what you say you have to put some sort of action behind your words! Do not think that people should be able to know what you are feeling or thinking just because you want them to, we are not mind readers, if you have a problem then get it out, talk about it, confront the person, don’t sit and stew over it for days and in some cases years. Trust me the only one you are hurting is yourself, because unless you have expressed your feelings to the other person, they have no idea of the situation and it does not affect their life in the least. They don’t lose sleep, you do, they are not the ones who have lost their appetite, you are, so the only person you are really punishing is yourself.

I guess I’m just fed up with all the me, me, me, I, I, I, then the talk, talk, talk, without their ever being any action to the contrary. So let me break it down for you, it’s not all about you or me, and words are just that empty nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives that roll off your tongue unless you put some action behind them!!!

Women~Wife~Mother

Many things have happened over the past couple of weeks to make me think of what it means to be a woman, a wife and a mother in today’s society and with the modern culture. With Mother’s Day just passing, and some other things that have happened in and around my personal life, it has just given me time to stop and think.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

Being a women in and of itself can be difficult enough, especially in some religious circles. You are looked upon as if you are nothing more then an object that is to be claimed from your parent’s house and brought under the control of your husband. In many religious circles they look down on women who decide not to marry, it is as if they are cursed, like there must be something wrong with them if they cannot find a husband, but at the same time a man that never marries is rarely ever given a second thought. I know of several good Godly women who have never married, I of course will not name any names, but I can honestly say if there were something going on in my life I would want they praying for me. They are hard workers, that are faithful to God and the church, and just because they have decided that marriage is not for them, does not mean that they haven’t dated to see where God might lead them, it’s just that they have never felt that bond with anyone. And let me set the record straight, these women that I know are not out partying, hanging out, and hooking up, they are truly upstanding Godly women.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Becoming a wife can either be one of the greatest achievements of your life or one of the most difficult challenges. God blessed me when he allowed the paths of my husband and I to cross. I was raised to believe that decisions whether they be trivial or complex were always made by the husband, the bread winner, the king of the castle, and that the opinions of the wife very rarely ever came into play. I knew from a very early age that this was NOT the type of relationship that I wanted. I wanted a husband who would be the head of the household, but one who would also see me as his equal, someone who would see us as one. Someone who would always talk to me and ask my opinions and advice on even the day-to-day decisions that have to be made. I did not want someone who would try to control me, or try to change me into what they wanted, I wanted someone who would love me for me and my opinions and God brought me my perfect mate. While we may not always see eye to eye on things, we are mature enough and confident enough in who we are and what we believe to agree to disagree, although there are very seldom any times that we do not agree.

The relationships that I saw growing up were always so strained and stressed. It was like marriage was this horrible job that they have been assigned too, not a blessed, loving relationship like it was meant to be. I can remember this one couple that always fought, over everything, from the type of car they should get to the type of dish soap they used, and I remember thinking that if that was how married life was I was going to stay single. I never saw them laugh or joke with one another, and that is one of the things that I treasure most about my marriage. While life may sometimes be tough we can always find something to make each other laugh, and we are able to joke back and forth. It is the comfort of being able to be yourself around your spouse that makes a marriage livable. When you feel that you cannot be who you truly are in your marriage with your spouse then isn’t that living a lie? Marriage is NOT easy, it takes work, daily to keep the relationship going.
This is one of the greatest things I have ever heard:

"No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice"

Proverbs 21:38 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

Motherhood is the greatest blessing!!! But allow me to say, while almost anyone can be a mother by giving birth, it takes someone special to be a mom! And the mom in your life may not be the person who gave you life, it could be an aunt, a grand-mother, a step-mom, or another women in your life that has been like a mom to you. In today’s culture mom’s are supposed to be Super-women, working full-time jobs, trying to be full-time mom’s, and wife of the year. If this describes you, you have my complete adoration, and I commend you for everything you do. I have been blessed to be able to be a stay-at-home-mom and I have to say, I have loved every minute of it. I know that the majority of mom’s out there would love to be able to stay at home with their children, but in this economy it is just not an option, and I feel for you.

As mom’s we know we’re far from perfect, we have made mistakes, it’s inevitable, no one is going to be a “Picture Perfect Mother”. But what makes it count is seeing your mistakes and learning from them. Just as our children learn daily, we as mother’s learn daily as well, whether your children are infants or teenagers. There is always some new adventure just over the horizon. My children, Daniel 15, Zack 3, and Chloe 2 have been blessings to me, each in their own way. While I missed out on a lot of the milestones with Daniel, I am so thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful step-son, he’s a GREAT kid, I couldn’t have asked for any better. As for Zack and Chloe, they are just energetic and full of life. My days are filled with the sounds of love and laughter, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I know as mother’s we try to train our children to do and say what is right, and when anything happens to the contrary, the first thing we do is blame ourselves. We try to figure out how we somehow failed them or let them down. But we have to believe that God has a plan for each of our children, even though it is unknown to us, and we have to trust that what we are doing, and have done is right. The verse that comes to mind is Proverbs 22:6, but allow me to clarify something, this verse does not mean that your children will not stray from God, or that they will not venture out into the world, it just simply means that if you instill Godly wisdom and knowledge in them, that they will ALWAYS carry it with them, no matter where life may take them.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Family

Family, one word, three syllables, but such a strong word. A word that ties, a word that binds. A word that when mentioned in any size of mixed company can bring joy and warmth to some and bitterness and chills to others. A word that can make you think of good times filled with happiness or bad times that can fill you with resentment and leave you sad. A word that can leave you with the feeling of love or with the feeling of hatred. One word that can cause so many emotions, feelings, tears, and fears. However, if you were given the chance to change what the meaning of the word family meant to you, would you do it? If you had the option to change all the negative things that cause the feelings of bitterness, of hatred, of fear, would you do it? If you could go back in time and make your childhood and teenage years what you would deem perfect in your eyes, would it be worth it to you?

Someone once said that you don’t get to pick your family, you only get to deal with the family that God sees fit to deal you at birth. Of course, some children never know their birth parents, some are adopted, others spend their lives in the world of child services bouncing from foster home to foster home, unless they become blessed to finally find one home that works for them. They did not get to choose the life they wanted, just as you and I did not get to choose to whom we would be born. I have heard birth referred to as a blessing, while I see every birth as a miracle of God, I cannot say that I view everyone as a blessing. For the lives that some of the children being born will have to endure will be far from a blessing.

Looking at what the word family means to me, I can honestly say that I have honestly asked myself would I change anything? My life growing up was not perfect, but was not anywhere near as bad as some people I know. But even with past and current situations in my family...I feel that I am blessed beyond measure, to have my husband, my step-son, my son and my daughter in my life, I live my life everyday for them, they are my reason for living, the breath that I breath. There are also certain family and friends who are my rocks and foundations that I lean on when times get rough, my mom and my brother are two of the only ones who can understand some of the things I go through and feel. Due to the loss of my father, by his own hand, we learned to lean on each other. We learned that everyone else comes and goes, we learned that even “family” seems to forget you and what you have been through. I have found the old saying, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ to be very true.

Even with everything I have been through and am going through I can honestly say that I would not change a thing in my life!!! It is because of my family and the situations and circumstances that I have been through because of them, that I am who I am today. And irregardless of what you think of me, my feelings, my views, or my beliefs, or convictions, I am very happy with who I have become, and in no way apologize for myself!

After taking some time...

As most of you know I have taken a sabbatical from blogging. I wanted to do some serious soul searching after receiving some of the responses I have gotten to some of my previous posts. However, even after much prayer and thought my views and opinions have not changed. I DO NOT regret anything I have written. Everything I have talked about is true, just because some of the readers have gotten mad or offended, which allow me to say I believe comes from a guilty conscience, then so be it. I take back nothing!!!

I have posted all of the responses and comments that have been made to me on my blog, except those that have explicitly asked me not to, or those that have messaged me on FaceBook or by email. But allow me to say that NO ONE is going to make me change my mind, my views, or my convictions! You have the right to feel and think the way you do as do I. If you have a question to ask me feel free, if you want to discuss a topic comment or message me, but if you want to try to force your view of religion on me in hopes that you can change my mind, do not waste your energy or time.

Oh where, oh where, has everyone gone???

I know that there are several people who read this that will be able to relate to this post. My father died June 27, 2002, just four months shy now of the ninth anniversary of his passing. What has amazed me is how all of his so called close personal friends, that promised him they would always be there for his family, have just vanished. To date there is only one church that has any contact with my mother.

I can remember at the receiving of friends, the hundreds (to be literal there were over a thousand people that walked through that night and signed the guest books), all of the people who hugged me and told me that I would never have anything to worry about, that they would always be there. Well, I guess my question is where are they now? For two years after my dad died we kept the same phone number that my parents had had for their entire marriage of 22 years, but I can only remember a handful of people calling after the funeral, and it didn't take long for the calls to completely stop. Out of sight, out of mind. I guess when my dad was no longer around to preach for or to let everyone call and dump their problems on, then his family just sort of dissolved like melting snow.

One of the things that I do find hilarious, is how many preachers and pastors, still to this day will quote my dad in their messages or make reference to him and how much they miss him and his preaching and friendship, but yet they never think to pick up a phone or drop a card in the mail to let my mother, my brother , or myself know that they even care. While I know there are A LOT of rumors that have circulated about my immediate family, I can assure you that the majority of them have been completely taken out of context and some are just out and out lies. If you have any question you would like to have answered about myself, my mother, or my brother, feel free at anytime to ask. My family and I have NOTHING to hide.

I speak now for my mother, she was so hurt by the way that so many people, whom she considered friends, just abandoned her in her time of need. In a time like she was facing you would think that Christians would rally around one another to try and strengthen those who are hurt and suffering, not desert them when they are most vulnerable. It was at this time that my eyes were truly opened as to what the majority of Christians as we know them are like, selfish, self-centered people, who care only about what concerns them and no one else.

Allow me to at this time to say when I speak in this blog about "my family" I am referring to my immediate family only. This includes my husband, my children, my mother, my brother, and myself. This doesn't include any of my extended family, with whom, besides a few I have VERY little contact with, not of my wishes, but of theirs.

Christlike???

Christlike, defined as, resembling or showing the spirit of Jesus Christ. It seems to me that we as Christians have completely lost sight of what it is to be Christlike. Christians in this day and age have fallen short.

Gal 5:22-26 (KJV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

If we as Christians judge ourselves on just these few verses, we should begin to feel conviction. However, we now seem to think that we are above these fruits. It is as though we feel we are exempt from God holding us accountable for our failure to heed and apply what He expects from us. My favorite part of these verses is the ending of verse 26, where it says, Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. Christians are the first to provoke one another over trivial stuff. I have found, since starting this blog, that Christians will be the first to judge and critic what someone else, says, or believes. People can take something that is meant a specific way and completely turn it around to make it out to be something completely different and then get offended by what they think was said, then when a response is given try to play the victim.

Someone I know said something that I thought was extremely profound today, Christians are so busy trying to be religious that they completely forget to be Christlike. The majority of Christians revile in the, desirous of vain glory. I get so sick of these so called Christians, who feel that they are far more close to Christ then anyone else. They put forth this air of being holier then though, as if they are ready to sprout wings and fly to the right hand of the Father. They feel that just because they go to church every time the doors are open, and do this and do not do that, that they are better Christians then others who do not do everything they do. It is my own personal opinion that these people are going to be in for a shock once we get to heaven and God brings forth their judgmental, self-righteous attitudes, and they do not receive the crowns that they thought they were due to them.

As for the part of the verse, envying one another, Christians can be the most envious and jealous people you will ever meet. They some times feel as though because someone has something nicer or better they they do, then they cannot really be serving God like they should. If they have a nicer house, a better car, or have more money then they are not giving to God as they could. It is these people that are so miserable that they cannot stand for someone not to be as miserable as they are. They cannot live with out misery, drama, or friction of some type in their life at all time. These people will literally sit and think of things to complain about so that they can feel better about themselves. To me this is a pathetic life.

I know who I am, so who do you think you are?

Just a little clarification, I did not start this blog to bash, degrade or demean the IFB churches. I started this blog to convey my views and opinions of the movement and churches that I grew up in. Everything I say here, I saw and or heard with my own eyes. While I will not mention names of pastors, preachers, or churches, it is my right to talk about whatever I want and to express my thoughts on certain matters and issues. I know there are a few IFB churches, preachers, and pastors who are striving to pull away from those who give the others a bad name. However, it is these churches that are changing things that are being singled out as not longer being in the Will of God.

You the reader have every right not to agree with everything I say, think, or feel, as I probably would not agree with you on a lot, but we as Christians and adults should be able to agree to disagree. I am finding out that there are more Christians out there who prefer to judge and try to guilt me into changing my beliefs, all I can say to that is, how pathetic. When we have to resort to guild and harsh judgmental comments, what kind of Christian are we portraying? If you do not like what I am saying, then by all means, quit reading. I can promise I will not miss you. But let's be honest, you are going to keep reading just out of plain old curiosity.

I have received more feedback that is positive, since I started this blog, then negative. The thing I find sad is that some that are in agreement with me, are afraid to say so publicly because of the ridicule that would receive. Now what does that say for the IFB movement, when people cannot express their views that question the fundamental teachings? For as long as I can remember the preaching and teaching of the IFB has been, do as I say, not as I do, and do not question.

Some have accused me of being bitter towards the IFB movement, churches, preachers, and pastors, and while I admit there was a time when I was bitter, I have long since put that behind me. I no longer blame they for anything; I now pity them for their lack of true Christianity. We are supposed to be Christ-like. However, what I see coming out of the IFB's is far from being in the image of Christ. When judgment and ridicule spew forth rather than care and compassion I think, better yet, I know there is something wrong.

As I have said before, God gave man free will; therefore, everyone is able to make decisions on his or her own. No one is forced to do, think, or feel a certain way. No one should try to force their beliefs or convictions on another, those are decisions that people should make for themselves. As for thos of you who seem to want to judge and condemn me for decisions I have made, I can assure you at judgment day, you will not be held accountable for the choices I have made, so stop trying to change my beliefs, or guilt me into some sore of repentance; I am firm in my beliefs and convictions, so this will never happen.