I know that there are several people who read this that will be able to relate to this post. My father died June 27, 2002, just four months shy now of the ninth anniversary of his passing. What has amazed me is how all of his so called close personal friends, that promised him they would always be there for his family, have just vanished. To date there is only one church that has any contact with my mother.
I can remember at the receiving of friends, the hundreds (to be literal there were over a thousand people that walked through that night and signed the guest books), all of the people who hugged me and told me that I would never have anything to worry about, that they would always be there. Well, I guess my question is where are they now? For two years after my dad died we kept the same phone number that my parents had had for their entire marriage of 22 years, but I can only remember a handful of people calling after the funeral, and it didn't take long for the calls to completely stop. Out of sight, out of mind. I guess when my dad was no longer around to preach for or to let everyone call and dump their problems on, then his family just sort of dissolved like melting snow.
One of the things that I do find hilarious, is how many preachers and pastors, still to this day will quote my dad in their messages or make reference to him and how much they miss him and his preaching and friendship, but yet they never think to pick up a phone or drop a card in the mail to let my mother, my brother , or myself know that they even care. While I know there are A LOT of rumors that have circulated about my immediate family, I can assure you that the majority of them have been completely taken out of context and some are just out and out lies. If you have any question you would like to have answered about myself, my mother, or my brother, feel free at anytime to ask. My family and I have NOTHING to hide.
I speak now for my mother, she was so hurt by the way that so many people, whom she considered friends, just abandoned her in her time of need. In a time like she was facing you would think that Christians would rally around one another to try and strengthen those who are hurt and suffering, not desert them when they are most vulnerable. It was at this time that my eyes were truly opened as to what the majority of Christians as we know them are like, selfish, self-centered people, who care only about what concerns them and no one else.
Allow me to at this time to say when I speak in this blog about "my family" I am referring to my immediate family only. This includes my husband, my children, my mother, my brother, and myself. This doesn't include any of my extended family, with whom, besides a few I have VERY little contact with, not of my wishes, but of theirs.
I know to some extent how you feel. My Grandpa William Paul Sparks, passed away June 25th 2002. For a couple weeks it seemed like people cared, but then they went on with business as usual while our lives were still falling apart. He was a pastor for 40 years, brought so many preachers into his home, but their thought was that he is so much better off (but what about us??)I want to thank you for being real and not caring what other people think!! Christianity would be so much better if people would stop being cookie cutter christians and be real!!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your support, it means so much to receive positive feedback. So many people get defensive when they read or hear the truth, I guess when guilt sets in that is the only mechanism they have to turn to.
So many Christians are self-absorbed, they only care about themselves and their families. They put forth this false image of caring and compassion, but you yourself have seen the true side that comes out when they are put in a situation to practice what they preach.
It is my only hope that they themselves never have to experience the feeling of abandonment and rejection that we have.
Again thanks so much for reading!