Family

Family, one word, three syllables, but such a strong word. A word that ties, a word that binds. A word that when mentioned in any size of mixed company can bring joy and warmth to some and bitterness and chills to others. A word that can make you think of good times filled with happiness or bad times that can fill you with resentment and leave you sad. A word that can leave you with the feeling of love or with the feeling of hatred. One word that can cause so many emotions, feelings, tears, and fears. However, if you were given the chance to change what the meaning of the word family meant to you, would you do it? If you had the option to change all the negative things that cause the feelings of bitterness, of hatred, of fear, would you do it? If you could go back in time and make your childhood and teenage years what you would deem perfect in your eyes, would it be worth it to you?

Someone once said that you don’t get to pick your family, you only get to deal with the family that God sees fit to deal you at birth. Of course, some children never know their birth parents, some are adopted, others spend their lives in the world of child services bouncing from foster home to foster home, unless they become blessed to finally find one home that works for them. They did not get to choose the life they wanted, just as you and I did not get to choose to whom we would be born. I have heard birth referred to as a blessing, while I see every birth as a miracle of God, I cannot say that I view everyone as a blessing. For the lives that some of the children being born will have to endure will be far from a blessing.

Looking at what the word family means to me, I can honestly say that I have honestly asked myself would I change anything? My life growing up was not perfect, but was not anywhere near as bad as some people I know. But even with past and current situations in my family...I feel that I am blessed beyond measure, to have my husband, my step-son, my son and my daughter in my life, I live my life everyday for them, they are my reason for living, the breath that I breath. There are also certain family and friends who are my rocks and foundations that I lean on when times get rough, my mom and my brother are two of the only ones who can understand some of the things I go through and feel. Due to the loss of my father, by his own hand, we learned to lean on each other. We learned that everyone else comes and goes, we learned that even “family” seems to forget you and what you have been through. I have found the old saying, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ to be very true.

Even with everything I have been through and am going through I can honestly say that I would not change a thing in my life!!! It is because of my family and the situations and circumstances that I have been through because of them, that I am who I am today. And irregardless of what you think of me, my feelings, my views, or my beliefs, or convictions, I am very happy with who I have become, and in no way apologize for myself!