Women~Wife~Mother

Many things have happened over the past couple of weeks to make me think of what it means to be a woman, a wife and a mother in today’s society and with the modern culture. With Mother’s Day just passing, and some other things that have happened in and around my personal life, it has just given me time to stop and think.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

Being a women in and of itself can be difficult enough, especially in some religious circles. You are looked upon as if you are nothing more then an object that is to be claimed from your parent’s house and brought under the control of your husband. In many religious circles they look down on women who decide not to marry, it is as if they are cursed, like there must be something wrong with them if they cannot find a husband, but at the same time a man that never marries is rarely ever given a second thought. I know of several good Godly women who have never married, I of course will not name any names, but I can honestly say if there were something going on in my life I would want they praying for me. They are hard workers, that are faithful to God and the church, and just because they have decided that marriage is not for them, does not mean that they haven’t dated to see where God might lead them, it’s just that they have never felt that bond with anyone. And let me set the record straight, these women that I know are not out partying, hanging out, and hooking up, they are truly upstanding Godly women.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Becoming a wife can either be one of the greatest achievements of your life or one of the most difficult challenges. God blessed me when he allowed the paths of my husband and I to cross. I was raised to believe that decisions whether they be trivial or complex were always made by the husband, the bread winner, the king of the castle, and that the opinions of the wife very rarely ever came into play. I knew from a very early age that this was NOT the type of relationship that I wanted. I wanted a husband who would be the head of the household, but one who would also see me as his equal, someone who would see us as one. Someone who would always talk to me and ask my opinions and advice on even the day-to-day decisions that have to be made. I did not want someone who would try to control me, or try to change me into what they wanted, I wanted someone who would love me for me and my opinions and God brought me my perfect mate. While we may not always see eye to eye on things, we are mature enough and confident enough in who we are and what we believe to agree to disagree, although there are very seldom any times that we do not agree.

The relationships that I saw growing up were always so strained and stressed. It was like marriage was this horrible job that they have been assigned too, not a blessed, loving relationship like it was meant to be. I can remember this one couple that always fought, over everything, from the type of car they should get to the type of dish soap they used, and I remember thinking that if that was how married life was I was going to stay single. I never saw them laugh or joke with one another, and that is one of the things that I treasure most about my marriage. While life may sometimes be tough we can always find something to make each other laugh, and we are able to joke back and forth. It is the comfort of being able to be yourself around your spouse that makes a marriage livable. When you feel that you cannot be who you truly are in your marriage with your spouse then isn’t that living a lie? Marriage is NOT easy, it takes work, daily to keep the relationship going.
This is one of the greatest things I have ever heard:

"No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice"

Proverbs 21:38 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

Motherhood is the greatest blessing!!! But allow me to say, while almost anyone can be a mother by giving birth, it takes someone special to be a mom! And the mom in your life may not be the person who gave you life, it could be an aunt, a grand-mother, a step-mom, or another women in your life that has been like a mom to you. In today’s culture mom’s are supposed to be Super-women, working full-time jobs, trying to be full-time mom’s, and wife of the year. If this describes you, you have my complete adoration, and I commend you for everything you do. I have been blessed to be able to be a stay-at-home-mom and I have to say, I have loved every minute of it. I know that the majority of mom’s out there would love to be able to stay at home with their children, but in this economy it is just not an option, and I feel for you.

As mom’s we know we’re far from perfect, we have made mistakes, it’s inevitable, no one is going to be a “Picture Perfect Mother”. But what makes it count is seeing your mistakes and learning from them. Just as our children learn daily, we as mother’s learn daily as well, whether your children are infants or teenagers. There is always some new adventure just over the horizon. My children, Daniel 15, Zack 3, and Chloe 2 have been blessings to me, each in their own way. While I missed out on a lot of the milestones with Daniel, I am so thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful step-son, he’s a GREAT kid, I couldn’t have asked for any better. As for Zack and Chloe, they are just energetic and full of life. My days are filled with the sounds of love and laughter, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I know as mother’s we try to train our children to do and say what is right, and when anything happens to the contrary, the first thing we do is blame ourselves. We try to figure out how we somehow failed them or let them down. But we have to believe that God has a plan for each of our children, even though it is unknown to us, and we have to trust that what we are doing, and have done is right. The verse that comes to mind is Proverbs 22:6, but allow me to clarify something, this verse does not mean that your children will not stray from God, or that they will not venture out into the world, it just simply means that if you instill Godly wisdom and knowledge in them, that they will ALWAYS carry it with them, no matter where life may take them.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.